spent some time with my fellow (beloved) banquet part-timers.. alv, ivan, daiwei





































seriously, w/o these guys at ssc, i think, this old man here prob cant survive for long, heh.

alvin's damn frucking act cute in the last pic.. AHAHAHA.

haha. had a relaxing wknd at work... sat was a kid's 1st birthday. so pretty lots of kids running ard as usual. oh, the parents brought in some inflatable thingy and plastic vehicles to entertain them.

haha, the mum was one hot babe.

After the function ended, couldn't resist playing with the stuff till the company came to collect it back. haha. Kinda ended up in a tight spot, had to squeeze into that tiny vehicle b4 pushing it ard using my legs, haha.

that duck was the worst. haha, my butt got stucked. the inflatable lagoon with the many balls. i tried lifting the whole thing above my head but it slipped off my hands and all the balls came bouncing onto the floor.

ah.... damn childish rite. but haha, seriously pretty amusing and entertaining. how often we can get to do that too, indulging in kiddo stuff as grown-ups.


anw, check out this ingenious way of pouring hot boiling water from the machine to a tub for example. imagine a cambro (water dispensing tub) which is as tall as the boiling water machine. so we cant put it at level height.

neither can we jz leave the boiling water to dispense down on its own, it will spill and splurt everywhere. few years back, sean invented this simple, yet effective way of transportation. he used a cut orange juice plastic container. lol

more banquet stuff....

oh well, found these pics somewhere in my laptop.

--> i was doing up the stage, and for some reason, this chair, which i was standing on, suddenly gave way. i dont think i ate that lot few days b4, muz be some fat ass who gave the chair unnecesssary pressure in some function. aha

the chairs at banquet, to be honest, are subjected to lots of wear and tear. obvious stains all over, zao gengs holes here and there, and this is more ridiculous la. an iron's resting cushion..........

a thrash bag containing laksa soup and other leftover food burst on its way down to the dump via the lift.

the rear switch for the coffee warmer in our store went bonkers. so that side of the warmer is on all the time. theoretically speaking, rest your hand there and u will experience an unforgettable burning experience. some chap unwittingly put this cover of a cambro tub there and wad happens... a nice wafer biscuit revealed.

the usual trolley-loads of stuff to be used for a typical function's setup. the bowls, plates, spoons, tablecloths etc.

and this is the eventual outlook of the newly setup room, five tables with the buffet line at the far right. and after the function finishes, everything gets cleared and time for another setup for another function. the cycle repeats itself over and over again.

well, i think for this week, i have reached saturation point for banquet work. kinda got sick to doing the same stuff, losing the steam. good to take a break, not working this week, got my chalet and the genting trip this coming wknd. gotta recharge myself.

<--- me and the 3 statues, normally used for decorations on the buffet line. there's pastry auntie, fatso chef and bald uncle butler. but so far, only fat chef still standing. haha, auntie got her left hand chopped off, and uncle got his left finger amputated. aye, so damn poor thing.


--> with clarence and yunus. we are the self proclaimed xiao qiang clan in ssc banquet. guess we have a fetish for cockroaches since we always see them scurrying round at the clearing point.

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i jz got back my grade for IA. got a C+, haha wth. anw, its better than the D i expected. belinda commented that i should have got better since i did more work, but work doesnt equate to behaviour where i guess they din really particulary love my dissent towards them.

i aint gonna sob over the grade btw.
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jz came back from banquet work. tried google for any ssc banquet related tags and i found 2 entries.

first was a entry by this gal (centre) on the club's annual dinner event for their young swimmers in may 07, in this case, its not bout wads written. but the photos posted. cause one of them has me inside, albeit blurred though. Im standing at the furthest left with my colleague, haha.

why were we there? lol, i think we were jz slacking around, finding a comfortable spot at the edge of the ballroom, waiting for the function to die down. thanks ah, whoever took the photo, heh.

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the 2nd entry is damn long ago, haf to scroll back to nov 2005, tkgs prom night. yeah, be surprised. it was held at ssc, not much of a gala atmosphere. anw, they have been holding their prom nights for a few years over there already, but in 2006, there was no sight of tkgs. perhaps they got sick of the place.

i really have to dig hard for memories of that night, i remenber i was serving this table filled with highly adrenaline rushed gals.

and they kept making references to me thro'out the dinner. oh well, references like asking me to go over to their table for stuff like topping up drinks when their table aint under my purview.

and they kept asking me stuff right out from a mini sample questionnaire. i guess i finally knew wads up with the constant beckoning for me.

written in her blog was this.. " had waiters to serve us drinks. saf had a crush on our waiter micheal..ntu student. hehe... "

bypassed the ballroom balcony at my banquet workplace. spot the difference between the two ceiling lights.

and check those backdrops lining up against the doors.

picture is deceptive, the backdrop's height is juz centimetres away from the hanging light.

and yours truly made the botak lightbulb possible with the help of the backdrop. way back last year. haha, memorable enough in the wrong sense.






2) Event at SSC banquet (moulmein community night)

and i was doing the VVIP table coz it included a Tanjong Pagar's MP as the guest of honour.

but the highlight of the event belongs to the emcee. hilarious. i almost died laughing at his witty comments and jokes. and he incited the crowd to brilliant fanfare and rapturous responses.

cant' rem much of his jokes but during the lucky draw, there was this guy who was hugely cheered upon by his frens when he won a prize although the prize was in the bottom rankings. but this guy was totally delighted at his frens cheers. to this, the emcee shouted : " why ur frens so happy. ah, its not because u won a prize. its because you have no more chance of winning the top prizes! "

he ended off the event by reminding everyone with a safety message. if u drink, dun drive. den he prompted the crowd to reply back with his next question. so if u drive, dun drink? yeah, some people agreed with the politically right answer. but the emcee had this to say, if u drink, and if u drive, can! jz dun drive in front or behind me. (aha)

final phrase from the stand up comedian. " no joke, no fun. no fun, no sun." but obviously, he meant it in the context of.. no fun, no son. haha

its christmas period. so share with you a feel of pure white snow in this wretched rainy month.

my CO2 tank (for e tiger beer) went berserk. or rather, in a holiday celebratory mood. the connecting area from the tank to the beer machine went chilled frozen.

merry christmas everyone. would so love to experience snow once more.

today's function - 25th wedding anniversary of this indian couple - 130 pax

ah. golden couple celebrating 25 years of marital bliss. as usual la, all the bollywood dancing, and the thirst for johnny wanker whisky. wads the obssession with whisky anw. seriously personally speaking, its doesnt taste that good.

just one bewildering thing. the host brought in 5 johnny wanker bottles of their own. 4 were labelled with this R at the back of the bottle while the last one was a 1L bottle. (<----) i duno wads the difference. it looks the same to me.

soon came along this chap to my bar. he has a weird hairstyle, fringe all combed neatly down. he looks drunk and spoke gibberish. started to get unreasonable and demanding. i am treating this case as the "R Mystery" coz from the beginning to the end, its revolved around the R. sorry, but i cant comprehend most of wad he said so i can only classify them in gibberish language (haha) e.g. wkke2wk

R man : aeuw dj3wuj sjsjkq1 jjr3 NO R. i dun want R. dekdk3 2kke 4kkfkkf. NO R. give me another bottle. wjekj kiek2 kwkke4.

Me (showed him the 1L bottle without R) : this one? can? no R. see no R. plain plain. that got R. this no R. u happy?

R man : ok. i want this one. no R ok. 2kk2k3 dkwk45 ikekr2. give me now. i want whisky wkek32 k34kork No R. i dun want R. qwkek32 kk3244

Me (kaypoh) : so wads the difference between this R and no R huh? ( it was a mistake to ask him that )

R man : i dun want R. ewkrk3 kfkekr2 kerkk23 ( getting agitated) dwkkde2k 4k3kk

Me: huh ? huh ? wad u tokking? so wads the difference again huh? ( its a real big mistake to carry on asking. haha)

R man : kdkw4e ksdfkk3 klrge0 ki8ej32e jghgd2 kkwerk

Me : urm ( promptly pours him a no R whisky and shoves it to him)

R man : wkk2 ki994t keswdk2 jwe0r li32rkr

Me : huh wad eh ? simi lan jiao u talking. kan ni naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

R man : 2dwer nvmr 3ieoe kkeol12

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dance floor was opened near the end of the function.

and think the groovy songs got people pretty high up. that chap who bothered me earlier in the function and his 2 frens were doing their thwang right in front of my bar! gawd. they started grinding their crotches and rotated their hips and butts in a suggestive and erotic manner. one of them riled me up by slurping his tongue at me. and they started moaning and shook up their privates so vigourously that if u get them some gals and i bet they be screwing them right away.

today's function (vegetarian dinner) - monk's 27th birthday - 10 tables - 100pax

Devotees of this revered monk got together to celebrate his birthday in Meyers room. I heard a brief introduction of him, couldnt quite catch the whole story but he was supposedly the reincarnation of Buddha. Has quite a reputable stand in the Buddhism faith. I think he's from Tibet and his devotees can be seen swarming around him for advice and blessings. Not surprisingly then, he has a loyal group of followers in SG who follow his teachings. Oh, btw. 2 celebs were among the VIP guests too.

they had games and ktv singing. accompanying punk disco music aside from the soulful serene Buddhism music during the dinner. The whole atmosphere is not like ur typical temple visit. gets u all grooved up. and the birthday cake is simply bigggg. think its 5kg. i had to carry up the cake together up the stage with my colleague. and i feared that i will topple the whole cake off the cake trolley. how fantastic is that if that really happens. i will be the villian they can't forget. anw, the cake din drop la. so stop ur sadistic thoughts. haha

The monk is a handsome young chap. definitely a pin up model among his fellowship. and he's polite and friendly. during the function, he wanted us to sit down too and eat with the guests, sharing and basking in the joy of the food and the fun. but of course, work ethic renders it not possible. we can only do it after the guests leave. haha.

and the organiser got us, the service staff to take a photo with him! oh gosh. haha. first time such things happened to us. we were a bit stunned. but we still had our photo taken anw. so out of respect, i wished him happy birthday too. gosh, when he replied thank you. that shook me up. i dunno man, just those 2 simple words made me feel like im in spiritual peace. maybe i should try to seek enlightenment one day. when im old, it will be good to have a state of complete peace in which one is free from distractions of desire and self consciousness.

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the next day, i got an inspiration to buy a 4D number based on his birthday. his 27th birthday is on 13th dec, so simple arrangement gets u 2713.

bought this - 2713 - 24 permutations - $24 wagered

and the draw for the next day's Wed 4D (13th Dec 2006) came out. 2317 struck consolation prize. since i bought all permutations of 2713, i won $60.

im h$ppy. haha.

today's function (lunch) - church event - 40 tables - 400 pax

ah. the preparation for this event. 40 tables means the whole utilisation of the ballroom. which also means a massive turnover from the previous 3 separate rooms into 1 ballroom for the 40 tables setup. (fyi, there are 3 seperate rooms in the ballroom which can be partitioned - Fort, Mountbatten and Meyers) its tough. but we managed to get thro it and got the whole place ready for the event.

<--- from this, partitions for the 3 separate rooms opened up - tables and chairs in a disorderly arrangement - stage just got set up in the centre of the ballroom. tables/chairs have to be pushed in from our store into the ballroom. table settings to be up. island buffet lines on both ends of the ballrooms to be ready.

to this --> 40 tables setup . impressive eh. but its nothing new here or in other banquet places. just that, we do everything ourselves over here.

and after this lunch function, we have to turnover for a night dinner. but less siong, 13 tables only.









of course, 400 people buffet function. definitely, u see tons of dirty stuff. took this picture when the load was much lesser already when most pple are mostly full. just imagine 5 of these 'filled to the brim tubs'. thats the ongoing rate during the function. tough on the clearing point guys.




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night function - wedding reception of a indian-korean couple

13 tables - 130 pax.

initially, i thought. oh man. indian wedding. which means the usual 'huff and puff' and beverages was alcohol free flow. which means 'where r the drinks? i want this. i want that' will prob be replayed in my brain over and over.

BUT... it turned out totally unexpected. not all the tables were filled. the guests and hosts were extremely polite and easy going. at a comfortable pace where there is no sense of flustered rush. even my beverage counter.

no swarming of the beverage counter....... had a pleasant time swapping flies. haha. And the function ended early too. amazing. its such a rare occurence that an indian event went so smoothly.

today's function - golf party - 10 tables - 100 pax

drinks - 2 barrels beer, 20 bottles red wine, free flow orange squash

overall, a manageable function. smooth and easy. fast clearance for turnover due to the party ending early. but but but...

20 bottles of red wine means..... plenty of drunkards around. and not a surprise, they brought along their liqours - chivas, johnny wanker - and getting all high up and tipsy. and their ugly unreasonable side gets all magnified.

few interesting episodes. there was this lady. came over to my bar. "is this white wine?" she said as she pointed to the few glasses of red wine i poured out. "no ma'am, see.. this is red colour. so this is definitely red wine" "huh? this is white wine!" and there she goes, insisting that red wine is white wine. *cringes

next up. another lady came up to the bar. "where's the coffee?" i replied " no ma'am, there's no coffee tonight, how bout some warm water" she immediately loathed that answer of mine and spat in disgust " this club sucks. no coffee? ta ma de" woah. the refined look of hers was nauseated with that vulgarity.

since my bar is kinda 'slack' tonight, so i went around helping my colleagues to clear the dirty plates. there was this lady. asked me soya sauce for her sushi maki though my colleague has alredz went down to the kitchen. strangely enough, her anxiety wait for the sauce got her into a agitated frenzy. her face looks flustered, ruffled, disturbed, on the edge of losing control. and its all because of soya sauce?

continuing on my casaul stroll round the tables. suddenly, i was jerked violently by this guy on my shoulder. ah. my instant reaction was "wtf" it turns out that this is a member who wanted a "jiggler" is that the correct word? those small glass that can contain one shot of liqour. anw, yeah he wanted that. but we dun have it. and he started raising his voice " u know who i am? im a member of this club! why you dun give me?" oh yeah. bigshot eh? i heard this statement like a thousand times alredz. do i care who u are? everyone here is a member. so wad makes u different? and i dun take too kindly being manhandled by drunkards.

overheard this in the toilet, i was in cubicle while scenes happened at the urinals.
drunkard A : eh, die la. i drink so much. later how to drive home. i scared kena police roadblock la.
drunkard B: haha, let me teach u a method. put a mouthwash in your car. coz mouthwash contains alcohol, so if police stop you, say u went to eat garlic just now and to avoid the wife making noise, so i use mouthwash. easy la, police so stupid. will believe you one la.
drunkard C: laugh laugh laugh
drunkard B: eh, why u laugh. nb. i teach u guys effective method lei. listen to me.
drunkard A: dunnoe la. heck care. get caught , caught la. later go find my 'the other one' first. so long never visit her already for some fun.
drunkard B: ah. good for you. i only got a fat bitch at home.
drunkard C: laugh laugh laugh.. puked.
drunkard A: wah lao you.

banquet work at ssc

lets say, you are invited to a banquet event. you step into the ballroom, nicely set up. you see the staff, all ready to serve you. you look at the food, tantalising sumptous. but wad goes behind the scenes, before the event (setting up), during the event (serving the guests), and after the event (clearing up and turnover for the next function), yeah, wad u see if not wadever u think it is.

and this part time banquet job at ssc (which i've worked since 2005), i would say the scale of toughness, others barely come close. coz why? at ssc, we do everything. from service, to clearing up, to setting up to just about every shit u see in a banquet function - will be related to our dept. guess this is frustration boiling over. im getting damn sick and tired of banquet life, just wanna rant.

muz say i learnt a lot of hardship here. the shit i've been thro, is enough to put my army stint to shame. if only i been thro this ssc banquet job before i enter army, i can be darn sure that i wun be some clerk fiddling with pens and computer screens.

started off as a 'clearing point' chap. wad do i do? simple, bring in the whole tray-load of dirty plates, cutlery, and imagine a leaning tower of plates. and of coz, the memorable food that we throw away. there will always be leftover food, and wad we do? besides for those still edible stuff which we eat, the rest goes into the trash bags. gets u all dirty, sweaty and smelly when u bring the stuff down to stewarding for washing. and to throw away those leaking thrash bags. yeah its shit. imagine functions of over 400 people. dun i just love to break the plates instead.

and soon, i moved up to service waiter from clearing. a better life dosen't necessarily awaits me. unreasonable demands frm guests, non stop demands for drinks, and a whole load of nonsense.

but after that, i went up to bartender, in charge of dispensing drinks esp alcohol if there is. i dread the full bar (all types of alcohol) setup during any functions. the guests will always be demanding for alcohol since its free flow. there will be never be enough glasses, since the washing speed of used glasses aint quick enough. and before you know it, they will start to scream, scold etc... 'where's the fuking drinks, why no glasses, give me drinks, u all are fuking slow" despite me being at my fastest speed alredz.

the smile of serving customers has disappeared.

but im still here.. because i know i will survive. i know i can do it. ironically speaking, after all the rant i have written above, im glad for this work experience. there goes a saying, once u have survived the shit in ssc, u can survive anywhere. trust this statement. its aint a joke.

tired, fatigued. but i will still carry on till i am going to fall. thats when i reach my limit. its all in the mind seriously. i have enough of some part timers saying they are tired after a while. i know they can carry on but their mind just cant make it. u are not tired until u collapse onto the ground.

one reason why i dun really like working with newbies, i know i must be more lenient to newbies when after all, i started off as a newbie too, but when tiredness creeps into their mind, they just stop functioning. and wad happens. wadever we need to complete will get slowed down and inevitably, delaying our knocking off time. u tink i like to go back at 3, 4 am? i just want to finish off the task quickly and we all can go back home and have a good rest.

but then again, i admire, seriously, they have my fullest respect, those 16 yr olds who work here. wad am i doing at 16 years old? still taking pocket money from parents and slackin ard.

to anybody in any tough situation, HARD WORK NEVER kills anybody. at the END OF THE DAY, WE WILL STILL SURVIVE AND TIME WILL STILL PASS.